My Big Fat Italian Wedding
Ten years ago today, I walked down the aisle of Immaculate Heart of Mary church, looked at my smiling bride groom and wondered, “How much longer until we can split for the honeymoon?” I also was wondering why in the world I let my mother talk me into a long-sleeved completely beaded wedding gown, that made 100 children in Asia arthritic, in July… in the desert.
Why?
Because my wedding was the “Big Fat Italian Wedding”.
From the moment my future husband proposed I wanted to elope. I begged him to just elope with me. Attempted to bribe him with every naughty sexual favor I could imagine. But, he wanted a traditional wedding. He still seemed to get the naughty bribes though. ;)
He has a very large and close extended family. I have a very large and complicated extended family. Everyone seemed to push for this traditional wedding and I wanted peace and for everyone to be happy. So I was a flipping pushover. I caved and agreed to just about everything for the sake of peace among the families. My biggest mistake? Me living in Kansas at the time, but planning a wedding to take place in Colorado, the state where my family lives.
From the huge beaded dress, to the flowers, to the colors of baby blue & peach I had very little to say about how the wedding would proceed. Remember, I wanted to elope. When asked what wedding colors I wanted, I said “Navy and cream”. Everything showed up as baby blue and peach. My mother went to the bridal shop and changed the dress order for all my bridesmaids from a dress in navy crepe to the baby blue silk ones you see above. I have never worn baby blue or peach in my life and never would have asked my friends to either. The required printed napkins and all of the other wedding paraphernalia arrived with out my knowledge of it ever being ordered. Then the guilt, oh god, the guilt. “What? You don’t like it? Oh, I guess that’s just $500 down the drain.”
Sure, I can laugh about it now. Kinda.
But, if I could go back in time, I would say to myself “Elope!” Then I would tell myself, it doesn’t really matter what kind of wedding you have or what you or anyone else wears. And that, she’s right, he is the *one* and there is nothing to be nervous about. I would also tell her, in ten years you will love this man more than you ever thought possible. And that the love drunk giddiness will ebb and flow but there is a deeper more sustaining current of love and respect that will carry you forward. She might not see it or fully recognize it yet, but it is there. The disagreements and difficult times aren’t something to blaze through, but will test, change and pull at the bond and when you want to push further away that’s exactly the time to cling on tighter. She would probably tell me to shut up and quit talking so much or maybe she wouldn’t believe me because at the time she cannot understand that her love could be any stronger, any more passionate, and any deeper. But it will be and does exceed her wildest dreams.
Why?
Because my wedding was the “Big Fat Italian Wedding”.
From the moment my future husband proposed I wanted to elope. I begged him to just elope with me. Attempted to bribe him with every naughty sexual favor I could imagine. But, he wanted a traditional wedding. He still seemed to get the naughty bribes though. ;)
He has a very large and close extended family. I have a very large and complicated extended family. Everyone seemed to push for this traditional wedding and I wanted peace and for everyone to be happy. So I was a flipping pushover. I caved and agreed to just about everything for the sake of peace among the families. My biggest mistake? Me living in Kansas at the time, but planning a wedding to take place in Colorado, the state where my family lives.
From the huge beaded dress, to the flowers, to the colors of baby blue & peach I had very little to say about how the wedding would proceed. Remember, I wanted to elope. When asked what wedding colors I wanted, I said “Navy and cream”. Everything showed up as baby blue and peach. My mother went to the bridal shop and changed the dress order for all my bridesmaids from a dress in navy crepe to the baby blue silk ones you see above. I have never worn baby blue or peach in my life and never would have asked my friends to either. The required printed napkins and all of the other wedding paraphernalia arrived with out my knowledge of it ever being ordered. Then the guilt, oh god, the guilt. “What? You don’t like it? Oh, I guess that’s just $500 down the drain.”
Sure, I can laugh about it now. Kinda.
But, if I could go back in time, I would say to myself “Elope!” Then I would tell myself, it doesn’t really matter what kind of wedding you have or what you or anyone else wears. And that, she’s right, he is the *one* and there is nothing to be nervous about. I would also tell her, in ten years you will love this man more than you ever thought possible. And that the love drunk giddiness will ebb and flow but there is a deeper more sustaining current of love and respect that will carry you forward. She might not see it or fully recognize it yet, but it is there. The disagreements and difficult times aren’t something to blaze through, but will test, change and pull at the bond and when you want to push further away that’s exactly the time to cling on tighter. She would probably tell me to shut up and quit talking so much or maybe she wouldn’t believe me because at the time she cannot understand that her love could be any stronger, any more passionate, and any deeper. But it will be and does exceed her wildest dreams.
posted by KK at 7/06/2006 01:19:00 PM
1 Comments:
You were a beautiful bride, regardless. Congrats!
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