These quiz things could keep me busy for hours

I was going to take the "What kind of procrastinator are you" quiz, but I think I'll do it later.

What Kind of Soul are You?
Do souls have categories? Is there an encyclopedia of souls? It kind of makes you wish you were back in college and had a weekend to burn... literally burn some fun smelling stuff. Does it fit on the tip of a pin? Peace duuuuuuuude.

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

This is spot on...

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Yep, uh huh this is me ;)

Those of you that know me, stop laughing or I'll turn tornado on you. ;)

You Are a Rainbow

Breathtaking and rareYou are totally enchanting and intriguing But you usually don't stick around long! You are best known for: your beauty Your dominant state: seducing

What Type of Weather Are You?

March Madness

March Madness
“Beware the ides of March”…pshaw! Beware of the whole flip-fracken month is more like it.

Why do I curse the month of March?

Losing the college ball brackets is the least of my reasons. Though, after the second round of games I was completely out of the family and work pools. I took some comfort in the fact that my ESPN-watching-Sports Illustrated-studied husband followed close behind and joined me in the losers circle.

In one month, I’ve had to have my blood pressure medication doubled. Yeah, doubled. Have I mentioned before that I’m under 35, I’m at my ideal weight AND… I drag my butt onto an elliptical machine at the gym 6 days a week for a 45 minute workout? Yeah, nice… doubled. The doctor says genetics. I didn’t get the oprera singer genes, the race engine metabolism I-can-eat-50-cannolis-and-not-gain-a-pound genes, or the nice curly hair genes, instead I get high blood pressure and premature gray genes.

The babysitter wrecked my new car. She doesn’t have insurance. I didn’t know she didn’t have insurance because she just let it lapse when she sold her car. This is why she was driving my car. But still she didn’t mention she didn’t have insurance. My new…first ever completely new happy mommy bus Sienna… passenger side… crushed. Kids and sitter were fine. She ran into a pole in a parking lot, backing up. But that’s a whole nother story, for another blog day.

The kids inadvertently knocked out the electricity plug from the chest freezer in the basement… on Friday. I didn’t go into the basement to get anything from the freezer until Monday. Yeah. There is nothing like discovering half a cow defrosted when all you wanted was some frozen snow peas for a stir fry. Suddenly you feel like you are thrown into Iron Chef America stressed suburban mom version. Good times.

Everyone including the dog has been sick this month. We’ve had the real flu, the stomach “flu”, colds, viruses and URIs. The dog has some sort of stomach ailment that produces noxious green foam ectoplasm poop that is impossible to get out of beige carpet. Did I mention the dog is not a small petite thing like a Jack Russell Terrier. No, he’s a 75lb Boxer.

There’s that moment when you want to kill them; you know the moment when you get up at 1 am feeling a bit parched and feel your way down the hall toward the kitchen and then… and then you step into something cold and squishy and you start praying right then that this is just one of those dreams and soon you’ll wake up and tell your significant other what a weird dream you just had. But instead, you flip on the light and feel that unique combination of horror and repulsion as you realize you’re going to be up until 4 am scrubbing carpets and trying to figure out if pulling out the green machine will wake the sleeping children that are currently knocked out from taking cold and cough medicine.

Of course, you aren’t so lucky and the green machine wakes up everyone and you are up to your elbows in green foam ectoplasm dog poo and children hacking up mucus which turns to the inevitable when they see the poo and you are now scrubbing green foam ectoplasm dog poo and vomit. That’s when you try to find your happy place and you start thinking the high blood pressure might not be genetics after all.

“In like a lion out like a lamb”… again… Pshaw! As the month winds down and there is April springing forth hope on the horizon, I’m about to celebrate another birthday. Sigh. I really dislike my birthday. Not really because of the aging thing, though each year that becomes more of a reason. It’s because my birthday is April fools day. If you feel so inclined to send me a whoopee cushion or rubber chicken, I’m all stocked up. But if you’ve found a few of my friends that I’ve driven off lately with my self-indulgent melancholy and virus ridden house, please send them back. I miss them and I promise I’ve had the carpets cleaned and the house fumigated with Lysol and I’ll try to be more myself in April. I’m ready to hand March her coat and beat her out the door with my shepherds crook.

Which Muppet am I?

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!" You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up. If only your routine didn't always bomb! You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

These quiz things could keep me busy for hours...

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Playground Survivor

Yesterday afternoon my 8 yo came home from school kicking the dust and looking like his chin was super glued to his chest. It didn't take a junior psychologist to figure out the guy had a rough day.

"Hey, kiddo how was your day?"

"Fine. Ok. Can I play my game cube?"

"Urm, hold up a minute. You look sad. What happened?"

"Nothing. Can I play my game cube?"

Hmm... thinks I. He wants to escape and doesn't seem keen to talk about it. Maybe I should try another approach. "Not, right now. How about having some popcorn with me?"

The conversation then turned to questions about homework and upcoming spelling tests. At which point he burst into tears when he realized that he had left his spelling list at school.

"This is the worst day EVER!"

I waited for it. It was building up...

"No one would play with me at recess. No one would let me play kickball. I asked both teams and they didn't want me because I'm not a good kicker. Then I forgot my spelling list and I'm never going to get to play my game cube EVER again."

There it was. All spewed forth at my feet. Much like a kid who eats nachos, cotton candy, pretzles, hotdogs, and chased it with rootbeer does just after getting off the tilt-a-wheel at the fair.

"Geez, that does sound like a bad day. No one played with you. That feels pretty bad."

There are times as a parent when you feel this ugly thing rise out of your chest. It's not pretty to admit. But on good days it only resembles you in the form of a big sister or older cousin who could go to school and with your hands on your hips tell those little snots not to pick on him or else. On bad days it looks like Sigourny Weaver.

On PMS days it looks like the Alien.

I always wished that I had a big sister or brother who would have done that for me. Someone who would have told Athena C. and Nicky A. that mean girls suck and I was a cool kid dammit. That I was still just as good as they were even if my parents couldn't afford to buy me cool clothes. That just because my dad was only a mechanic and not a doctor didn't mean I was less important. That they should let me play four square with them and talk in their cool circle.

Whew. Maybe time to sign up for that second round of therapy. Okay... okay... third round.

But then you realize that you are the grown up now. Beating up little kids is... uh... not an option. (Now, please do not think I'm harboring thoughts of hurting children. I'm not. This is all very tongue and cheek. So chill and get your finger off of the speed dial for child protective services.)

The ghosts of our childhood don't have to haunt our children. But they do pop up like a surprise seance and you feel like the new soccer mom medium. Watch out Patricia Arquette. I don't psh psh them away though. Those ghosts...err... experiences give you perspective and empathy... wise little buggers.

Not exactly what you tell an 8 yo who just wants to play kickball at recess. Instead of long lectures about the meaness of kids and how they don't know what they are missing and how in 10 years it won't matter. We spent some time brainstorming things that we could do to make it better.

Spelling List

• Never go back to school
• Mom homeschools son
• Mom calls the teacher and gets spelling list
• Mom calls and tells the teacher son can't take test tomorrow
• Son calls the teacher and tells her he needs the list.
• Son skips test and finds a job that doesn't require you to spell
• Son calls a friend from class and gets the list and reviews for test

Playground

• Never go back to school
• Mom homeschools son
• Stay inside and do extra homework instead of recess
• Mom goes to school and yells at kids
• Mom calls the teacher and tells her kids are picking on son
• Play with other friends on the playground
• Practice kicking the ball at home
• When they say you aren't a good kicker, respond by saying what you are good at. "I'm a good catcher though. I help get the other team out when it's their turn to kick."

He then decided that the best solutions were: calling a friend to get the spelling list and ended up inviting him over for a movie this weekend and maybe practicing some kickball in the backyard. I hugged my kiddo, told him how much I know it hurts to be left out, and how stinkin' proud I'm of him for coming up with ideas and making good choices.

His chin miraculously came unglued from his chest. He beamed.

"I am good at figuring out problems."

"Yes, you are."

When my husband walked in the door he found me being chased by an 8 yo, a 4 yo, a baby in a walker (don't send me hate mail over that) and a dog. We were taking turns kicking a rolled up sock and running around the kitchen table. When he asked what we were doing we told him training for playground survivor.